‘Look, I’ve been meaning to say, we should swap phone numbers, you know Jack talks about Jill all the time, and I said maybe we could have Jill over to play sometime, or get together at the park one day after kindy…?’
‘Yes, I suppose.’ Slight pause. ‘And I mean, the parents don’t have to become friends just because they’re children are.’ Slightly slighter pause. ‘Do they?’ What appears to be a genuine smile follows.
‘Erm, no. Of course not. No.’ Another pause. ‘Anyway, let me know. If Jill wants to come and play sometime.’
‘course not – you don’t have to sniff every arse your dog does, do ya?
oooh…
if I ever have a small child
remind me not to make any friendly, desperate overtures to other parents
how embarrassment
You’ll be fine. I’ve been hanging around outside kindys for a while now, and I’ve never heard anything like it before. And possibly she was just exhausted and couldn’t contemplate the idea of fitting another person into her life.
But Mikehela, it is entirely possible the kids just really like each other – Sage is inseparable from his best mate at kindy (but fortunately we get on with her parents, have mutual friends, etc). That said, I have totally made friendly desperate overtures to other parents in my time. Moving to a city you haven’t lived in for ten years while heavily pregnant will do that – fortunately I don’t embarras easy ; )
Like for instance, my spelling in that last comment has me entirely unmoved
*scuttles off*
Yeah, those kids (jack and jill) really are buddies. Walk around holding hands and that kind of stuff. Which is very often how parents make friends with each other I guess. Just maybe not in this case. Which, as Zoe points out, is not unreasonable either. And I was thinking it’s one of those things that changes as children get older – because they don’t need to be so accompanied.
Oh, and desperate overtures par for the course. Mostly, no one makes them to me though, because I generally look quite fierce and scowly.
A very informative and helpful post!
My son and another boy (L) at his childcare are always talking about going to each other’s houses to play. I’d go in to pick up my son in the afternoon and he’d be telling me that L was coming with us. One day he point blank refused to take his shoes off (right up until bedtime) because L and his mum were coming to pick him up to play.
I’ve sort of thought of organising something but I’ve always held back because I didn’t want to sound desperate!
That’s why secondary school is such a blessing.
I don’t know a soul.
Oh go for it, Caramaena. Once they’ve had one accompanied go, you can offer that the other parent just drop their kid off for a couple of hours, then see how fast they want to be your friend.
A special bonus of kids’ friendships from this morning at our place: “Mum, do you know what Nyssa calls gineups (ie, vaginas)? … Whippies!” Hanging out with Mr and Mrs Whippy in the future will be fun. Christ knows what he’s told them about us.
I would too, Caramaena. It’s usually much simpler than the situation I described in my post…like I say, in all the times I’ve heard the ‘jack and jill are friends…’ beginning, I never heard it end quite that way. You’ll be right.
I’m really glad to have some of the friends I’ve met through our kids.
It adds a bit of randomness to friendships – not all met through shared friends or shared interests, but often you do end up good friends.
Yikes. This is my current dilemma. I can’t stand the mums of the kids D is most friendly with, but really like some of the others in his class. The mums of his mates are really insular and cliquey, and very excluding, especially in a group situation.(All their kids went to pre-school together and they all have subsequent kids the same age). If we go over to play one-to-one it’s not so bad, but if there are a bunch of us, they all hang out with each other and talk about people I don’t know. Rude bitches.
Perhaps I’ll see after christmas is done with. Thanks for the advice 🙂
‘Gineups’ I can see the point of, but I’m going to be worrying about where ‘whippies’ came from for weeks.
‘Gineups’ I can see the point of, but I’m going to be worrying about where ‘whippies’ came from for weeks.
Arrgh, making ‘desperate overtures’ is one of the worst things about being a parent. But worth doing if you can screw up the courage – even if you DO get the brush-off four out of five tries (and it’s nearly always a polite ‘mmm, another day’ that never eventuates, not outright rudeness) on the fifth you’ll hit the jackpot and get a happy child.
TC – fierce and scowly?
That’s really mucked up my mental picture.
No, I’m not really all that fierce. For one thing I’m very short and have blunt teeth. Although I’m not that great in the mornings (hi, Dad).
Gee, poor mother of Jack.
What can be frustrating is if the parents of girls look like good friend-potential but you have a boy – or vice versa. Or if you like the parents but the children don’t get on.
We’ve been very fortunate with our kid’s friends’ parents, so far.
Sage’s best mate is a girl, Suzoz, but he’s four and perhaps it changes as they get older.
And 3C, can you put up a photo of your blunt teeth? Just curious.