I know it’s just google, but sometimes it really is spooky

Questioning google searches intrigue me. They used to annoy me, librarian-trained as I was when databases were the Next Big Thing, the internet was but a twinkle in Tim Berners-Lee’s eye, and boolean logic was most certainly in the exam. ‘Keywords people,’ I would think. ‘Use the quotation symbols,’ I would snarl from behind my screen.

These days, I’m much less personally affronted by the ‘what time is it in adelaide’, ‘what time is it in adelaide right now’ or ‘what can I do in adelaide’ searches I see in my wordpress dashboard. Life is too short, has moved on, and boolean is just a word.

Besides, I like the poetry of the google questions that come my way. Like today:

can i run away for my 40th birthday

it asked.

Well, dear 39-year-old whoever you are, wherever you currently live, I don’t know what other answers you found, but here’s mine:


Yes, you can run away for your 40th birthday. You can buy a plane ticket, get a stamp in your passport, bury your head in the sand.

But whatever it is you’re running from will, no matter how tightly you pack your suitcase, slide its way into the space between your knickers and your socks. And it won’t come out in the wash.

But that’s okay, because one day, you’ll wake up and you’ll realise that just next week you’re turning 41.

PS And ‘green liquid from back of fridge’ person? If you’re still there…this time of year, my bet’s on basil, bought in a fit of ‘let’s have pesto’ exuberance.

0 thoughts on “I know it’s just google, but sometimes it really is spooky”

  1. Heh, green liquid – sounds like transmission fluid to me.
    I am going to do teh google search for ‘can I run away when I’m fifty’ right now. Thanks TC.

  2. And from Yahoo Answers, fifth search result in:
    ‘What is a nice 50th birthday message to write in my mums card?
    Not too sentimental, i put my mum through a lot in my teens, running away etc, can any poets think of anything nice to put?’

  3. Happy birthday!

    I’ve been practicing thinking that I am now in my 45th year. I have this vague theory that when 45 rolls around next year, I will have gotten myself used to the concept.

  4. Happy Birthday and I’ll see in in the forties in a year or two. Still somewhat shocked to realise that I didn’t stop at 30.

  5. Happy Birthday and I’ll see you in the forties in a year or two. Still somewhat shocked to realise that I didn’t stop at 30.

  6. *snort*. I wanted to run away for my 40th too. But as you say it comes with you, you may as well have a party and get the presents I say.

    The number of hits I get for “family fridge” makes me chuckle, I’m sure they’re looking for brand recommendations and all they get is pictures of my fridge magnets.

  7. Yes Happy Birthday TC!
    “Boolean is just a word” sounds like a great title for your next show. Something with Boolean in it, anyway.

  8. 41, yep, did that two months ago and found it harder than turning forty. I think it was because now I’m “in my forties” rather than just “forty”. Or maybe it’s because my eyes are starting to disappear under flaps of skin like Clive James….

    Green stuff sliding under the fridge? It’s always the leftover bunch of coriander at our place.

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