Forty three

I turned 43 last weekend. It seems important somehow. It has seemed to be a coming of age in the way that no other time, not 18 or 21 or 30 or even 40 has ever been.

Perhaps it’s just that things are simple at the moment. Straightforward.

I suspect parenting is never so simple as when children are 9 and 11. Young enough that there is joy in their childishness (Mum, are you wearing eyelash polish), old enough that there is joy in the adults they are about to be (Mum, shall I make us some scrambled eggs, you seem very tired). I’m sure that helps to make life simple.

I’m still a fish out of water as far as my immediate surroundings are concerned, and there are clouds of unfulfilled dreams, but day to day, I know where I am going and I know what to expect.

It must be ten years since I felt this way and if I felt it before that, I did not know that certainty was a gift. I confused certainty with bordem and I did what I could to put surprises between myself and future days.

I don’t do that any more, and I think that is what I will most enjoy about being 43.

17 thoughts on “Forty three”

  1. I so recognise the alleged Chinese saying of ‘May you live in interesting times’ as a curse. Boredom is good. Certainty is good. And a belated Happy Birthday.
    I can’t tell you how envious I am this statement made me ‘Mum, shall I make us some scrambled eggs, you seem very tired.’ Cherish that boy.

  2. At first glance, I thought you were going to say it was 43 degrees in Adelaide…but then, you aren’t there. I felt 43 was a bit of an odd age, like 43. Have to say I still felt relatively young: now that I’m on the other side of 45 and 50 is looming, I’m starting to feel the limitations of time and potential that seems implicit in middle age.

  3. I’m only three months ahead of you in the turning 43 stakes and you have summed it up far better than I ever could.

    What I’d add though, is that ‘contentment’ is what rules my little roost right now. I’m doing as much as I can to help the family, I’m enjoying what I do and am carving up a little space for writing and expanding friendships. I’m content.

  4. Belated happy birthday. I am noticing feeling old and odd having recently turned forty. Looking forward to feeling like I inhabit my own perception of myself again at some stage. Thanks for giving me hope.

  5. Happy Birthday VERY late. My mother was 43 when I was born. Isn’t THAT a fun thought for you. My brothers were 9 and 10. And yes, I did love parenting that age. Although I am enjoying having teens, except for the part about the adult decisions they’re starting to have to make, and the thought that soon they’ll be gone.

  6. Well, happy belated! It is indeed a victory to learn that certainty is not the same as being stifled or unoriginal or unimaginative.

    I’ve got 3 more years to get there myself : )

  7. Goodness, I didn’t know that you’d all been and visited. For some reason, my notification thingy didn’t notify me you’d been. Well, I feel very rude, but thank you all for your kind wishes.

  8. Very true about the parenting – my boys are about the same age as yours and it is the easiest parenting has ever been. I’m calling this the Golden Years. I assume part of this is that we’ve been parenting for 11 or so years now and have got the hang of it?

  9. Certainty–especially when we live in such an odd world (locally, literally, and metaphorically, globally)–is vastly overrated as a good thing. It *is* a good thing. And could your kid teach my kid to make scrambled eggs? Also to eat said eggs, once cooked? Happy (belated) 43.

  10. A very happy belated birthday. Now I’m living a life of redirection and reassignment I have found time to trawl the web. Would love to catch up again sometime soon, maybe through written word. Your boys are at a beautiful age, or is every age. And your just 43 nice! I remember.

  11. I’m 47. This past year, for the first time, when I looked into mirror in the morning I would think – wow, I’m getting old.

    I listened to a TED talk the other day, and the speaker said that you will never be younger than you are today.

    That sunk in, in a positive way. I’ve got to get on with things. I’ve got to go backpacking in the Grand Canyon.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *