Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic

I have been awake most of the night, fretting about a deadline I have to meet. The deadline is still weeks away, but there are two major projects with more or less the same deadline. And they are Very Important Projects (to me, not to humanity). Usually, I’m very good at balancing more than one project. I think it is how I work best, because there’s no time to waste, I am focussed and productive.

The problem at the moment is that both are at more or less the same stage. Which is: well-developed structure, good understanding of the characters, knowing where I want to end up, but very few words.

This is good, in that I do have a very clear plan, and that means I am (hopefully) working efficiently. By which I mean, not writing too much plot that will never be used. But I’m in that messy stage which, experience tells me I must muddle through, just getting the words down, imperfect though they will be. Most of what I write today will be discarded in the end.

Which makes it hard to see the progress. And also, I can feel the deadlines looming, and I don’t feel like I’ve got time to write words which will only be discarded. But if I don’t write them, then I’ve got no chance of getting to the words which will be kept. If you see what I mean. And it doesn’t matter if you don’t. I’m just writing this to trick myself into believing that I’m actually writing something.

And meanwhile, the shows on ABC kids that my boys are brave enough to watch will soon end, and it will be back to the bloody Uno.

If you need me, I’m in the garret, muttering must not vacuum cutlery drawer, must not vacuum cutlery drawer.

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